Superhero Squad

When I returned from vacation, it was to find that my mother, terrific Grandma that she is, had taken my children to Wal-Mart.  This is a store I NEVER visit, because it is a hub for the families of the school district I teach in.  I have an irrational fear of running in to these families (I feel like they will have discovered my Clark Kent identity), so it's all avoid, avoid, avoid when it comes to such hubs.

My children apparently LOVED Wal-Mart, and somehow managed to convince MY mother to buy them matching Captain America shields, a Captain America mask, and a Wolverine mask.  MY mother.  The lady who wouldn't even buy me a pack of gum from the grocery line.

ANYWAY, this morning I woke with a vacation hangover.  I had become all cozy and used to sleeping whenever I wanted, and then I returned home to 6:30 am wakeups, making breakfast, packing lunches, playing chauffeur, and meeting demands in the generation of On-Demand.  This is quite the leap to make, and no matter how much I thought I was ready to come home, I'm, well, exhausted. (To that point, my mother called me yesterday, three days after my return, to tell me she is STILL exhausted from my children.)


So there I was, a giant cup of espresso-shot coffee in my hand from Tim Hortons (thank God they have extra large), sitting on the couch, staring.  I needed silence.  I needed calm.  What ensued around me was anything but.


My husband had donned the Wolverine mask and was wielding a Magic 8 Ball like it was some sort of small, round sword.  Joey wore the Captain America mask and the shield.  Noah had his Toy Story ball.  I'm not really sure what his deal was, actually.  Evidently, there were unseen enemies everywhere.  The three boys sprinted around my couch in circles screaming out things like, "Quick!  To the hideout!" and, "Look out!  Poison Ivy has spotted us!  She's AFTER US!"  It seemed that I was playing Poison Ivy, since every time they passed me, they'd stop, drop, and roll away from me.  They hid in the curtains.  Imagine seeing a full-grown, thirty-something man in Smurf pajamas wearing a Wolverine mask with a Magic 8 Ball ducking unsuccessfully in your drapes.  I sincerely hope he didn't REALLY think he was well-hidden.  If that's the case, I'm in trouble if ever there's an actual intruder.


They leapt over the ottoman.  They screamed and hollered and yelled.  When I stood up to get more coffee (my only prayer for survival), they fled the room screaming, "She's coming!  She's coming!"  Had I know that's all it took, I would have stood up and gone back to bed from the beginning.  But at least they had fun.


And I guess it must be pretty cool to play Superheroes with your dad.  Even if he's a little ridiculous. ;)