“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”Gilda Radner

Friday, January 13, 2012

Building a Picture

There are days where I know I've had at least half a dozen moments that make me think, "I definitely have to blog about this," and then, inevitably, I sit down in front of my beautiful laptop and every single one of them flies out of my head.  I look down at the keys and I think, "Um...?"

Not very profound, I know.  I have no idea where my mind goes at the end of a morning, an afternoon, or a whole day.  It's not that in retrospect these moments are any less magical (whether I remember them later or not) than I had originally thought.  I will admit that my most rapt audience of all time, middle school English students, have from time to time suggested that perhaps some of my stories fall under the title "Had To Be There."  But I don't think that's true in this case either.

I think it's more that real life is both mundane and magical at the same time, because as it happens it makes me smile and makes me feel.  But the moments its comprised of are just bits and pieces.  They are the dots in a dot-to-dot picture.  While you're actually connecting the dots, drawing those lines in just the right way (seriously, sometimes you don't realize it was meant to be a curved line), every dot seems terribly important.  "Okay, that was 9, now, where's 10?  No...that's 13...10, 10, 10...10!"  But then at the end, each individual dot becomes inconsequential in the face of what is literally the big picture.

Today, my big picture was Family.  Not the traditional compact unit, but a crowd of people extending out.  Family has become a pretty controversial word in the world today.  I understand why, but my big picture today was not controversial.  It was messy.  It was silly.  It was windshield wipers on panic mode and blind people driving cars and interruption and loud laughs.  I come from a long line of loud laughers.  I used to try and mute mine, but now I don't.  Now I just go for it.  I've been shushed, too, but who cares?  I'm just having a moment, and building a picture.

P.S.--Top 5 Recent "Dots"
1.  Noah in a women's clothing store, upon seeing a large display of faux leopard fur jackets:  "Aughhh!  It's a MONSTER!!!"

2.  Joey running to the door at school, through a snowstorm, his Batman backpack flopping all over, his tongue hanging out to catch snowflakes, and totally not caring what anyone thinks.

3.  Joey snuggling up to me while we watched TV.  He's not much for cuddling, so it means a lot.

4.  Noah in the backseat of his car with his face pressed into the frosting part of an Oreo Dippers container.

5.  Me handing Joey his school shoes this morning, and him wordlessly setting them down and putting on his boots because there was a big snowstorm swirling outside.

Oh, shoot.  I'll add 6: My sister desperately trying to avoid something, and then getting stuck RIGHT NEXT TO IT.  Hee, hee.  Guess you had to be there. ;)

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