Noah and I have recently discovered a common interest. We love searching unique houses on Zillow. I've recently had surgery and haven't been able to do much. When I found one particular house on the border of New York and New Jersey, I immediately texted it to Noah. This is the conversation that followed. It nicely demonstrates why he's an amazing human. You're welcome for the story, and for bringing Noah to the world.
Me:
I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS PLACE!!
Noah:
WOAH!
Me:
It has its OWN lighthouse!!
Noah:
It’s like a castle-mansion mix! And
also a pool and lighthouse? AWESOME!
Me:
It was built in 1910!
Noah:
SO OLD!
Me:
And there are like 5,000 staircases.
I don’t even understand.
Noah:
ok. They don’t have 5000.
They have 4999
Me:
😂
Noah:
🙄
Me:
Ok. Listen.
It has its OWN STATUE OF LIBERTY.
Get.
OUT.
Noah:
Wait. Where is it?
Me:
In the yard. Don’t be ridiculous.
There are also floor plans!
Noah:
No
The house
Where is the house?
Me:
Between NJ and NY
Noah:
K
Noted
I’ll remember these houses, so that one
day I can buy one
IT WILL BE AWESOME
Me:
Or build it.
Noah:
ooooooh
Interesting
Me:
And I will live in a secret cave in a secret
location on the property.
Even you won’t know where I am.
I will be Super Creepy Mom.
Noah:
I can use ideas from previous houses
to make my own
Me:
Yes. But please have a castle. It’s what
every mother wants for her child.
Noah:
😂
It’ll be castle-like
Maybe a tier or two...
Me:
You’ll have to have two or it will just look stupid.
Noah:
No. Not tiers... TOWERS
Me:
Honestly, Noah. You can’t run around
one-towered and expect anyone to
take you seriously.
Noah:
TWO TOWERS ON EACH SIDE
mhmm
And...
Me:
The Statue of Liberty, of course!
Noah:
Uhhh
Me:
Except it will have my face.
Noah:
Mom that’s too expensive
Weirdo
Me:
Whatever. I’ll pay for that.
Noah:
Oh
Then yes
Me:
What am I saying? It would lead
straight to my lair. Never mind.
Noah:
It’s not weird anymore
Because it’s yours
Me:
I have to admit, you’d look handsome
on a Statue of Liberty.
Noah:
I’d have a goldendoodle statue
Me:
of liberty?
LOL
Can you just see Bizzy?
Noah:
That’s fifty feet tall
Me:
With a little crown and a torch?
And a book of course.
Noah:
Haha
Me:
He’d look so regal.
Noah:
I will definitely note all of that
Me:
Good call.
Noah:
But I’d need a glass elevator
Like Willy wonky
Me:
lol
Noah:
Haha
Me:
wonky
Noah:
Willy wonka
Me:
Also, you should have an astronomy tower.
Noah:
Mhmm
Me:
That seems important.
Noah:
Yup
Me:
And GOATS!
Noah:
No
Horses
Me:
Forget it.
The whole thing is off.
Noah:
Those are majestic though
Me:
It’s goats or nothing, man.
Noah:
Goats are all beheh, and horses
are like BOOM
Me:
We’ll have our own special hair-
dressers hired to style the goat beards.
Different colors, lots of braids.
Noah:
NO
Me:
And beads.
Noah:
NO
Me:
Over here (she said in a British accent,
which we’ll need) we have Tippy, our oldest goat.
You’ll see his beaded green beard.
Noah:
OK
I want Tippy
Me:
We can have contests with the goats.
OMG
Noah:
And one named Copernicus
Me:
Goats against PIGS!
Noah:
Yes
Yes yes
Me:
Copernicus is so a pig’s name.
Co-pig-a-cus
Noah:
What?
No
Me:
Did you say it out loud? It’s perfect.
Noah:
Pig-puns are overrated
Me:
It’s…NOT a pun.
It’s just good sense.
Noah:
No
The pig will be named Waddles, and that
is final
Me:
There’s more than one pig.
Noah:
No
Just one pig
Me:
You can’t name them all Waddles, or you’re racist.
That’s just mean.
Noah:
And two goats
Me:
But…how will the contests work?
Noah:
One goat is Tippy, and the other is Copernicus.
They all race each other
Me:
What color is the beard of Copernicus?
(and btw, Waddles will defy all odds and
be an undefeated winner)
Noah:
He only has a red mustache, and yes,
Waddles will win, because we will give
him a jetpack
This is the future we’re talking about.
Me:
Noah, that sounds made up.
Noah:
Nope
Me:
Try and be realistic.
Noah:
We’d obviously teach him
Me:
Fine, but not before we all learn
Pig Latin together.
Noah:
Aren’t we doing that this summer
??
??
????
Me:
I don’t want to start before Waddles is BORN!
That’s not fair.
Noah:
Umm
😐
Fine
😐
Me:
Good talk, man. I think we have a solid plan here.
Noah:
Mhmm
More info in your next spy message
THIS MESSAGE WILL NOW SELF-DESTRUCT
