Joey had an early dismissal from school today. Noah was very excited about this because he would have someone to play with. We drove together to pick Joey up, and came home for PB&J, apple slices, and a special treat: Doritos. The Doritos smelled delicious, and I think I must have commented about them several times. Suddenly, Noah held one out, a big, wonderful, orange triangle, and said, "You can have one of mine, Mommy. Would you like to have it?"
"No, thank you, honey," I said, resisting. "Mommy doesn't eat Doritos."
"Is it because you're on a DIET?" he asked.
"Kind of," I said, smiling.
"Mom," said Joey, "is it a daily nutrition diet, or a you-don't-want-to-be-fat diet?"
"Kind of both," I said. "Mommy's favorite foods in the whole world are junk food. And you know what I love the best?" I leaned in like I was going to tell them I liked raccoon bones or snake eyes.
"What?" asked Joey excitedly.
"Oooooh, man!" Joey giggled. (Noah had just gone back to eating his Doritos.)
"Once," I went on, "I had a boyfriend who said he'd take me to any fancy restaurant I wanted, any one at all, and do you know what I said?"
"What?" asked Joey.
"I said I wanted BURGER KING!"
"Aaaaw!" Joey laughed. "Daddy must have thought you were CRAZY."
I smiled. "It wasn't Daddy," I said. "I had LOTS of boyfriends, you know. It took Daddy WAAAY too long to decide he loved me."
"Well," said Joey, shrugging a shoulder. "You can't blame 'im. He did date TWO movie stars before he finally married you."
"Yup. Cindy Crawford and Kathy Ireland."
Oh. Oh! He wishes.