Kissing is GUH-ROSS!

Joey decided at least two years ago he would never fall in love. He has never strayed from this, except the one time he mentioned that "Maybe Selena Gomez is pretty--sort of."

He doesn't repeat his decision as a mantra like many afraid-of-commitment men and women of today. Instead it is very well thought out, with all kinds of ways to ensure his life will be successful and complete despite his decision to live it out as a happenin' bachelor. Here are some of the more memorable quotes:

1) "I just have to save all my love for my mom."

2) "I can't marry anyone because that means kissing, and kissing is GUH-ROSS!"

3) "Eeeeeeew."

4) "I'm going to be a scientist. Scientists don't have time for girlfriends."

5) "Since I'll be a scientist, I can always invent a robot girl to marry, if I really need to."

6) "I don't have a girlfriend. I don't want a girlfriend. I just want to be REGULAR friends with everyone."

7) "That girl makes me feel too warm and chocolatey."

8) "I'm NEVER having a girlfriend! I don't NEED one."

I really believe I was scarred by the societal expectation displayed in Disney movies, Barbie world, and pretty much everywhere else that a girl needs to meet the boy of her dreams, marry him, and live happily ever after. I think that I probably would have been much smarter in my teens and in college if perhaps I didn't have some deeply rooted need to find my "soul mate." (Although I did end up finding out that I DO have one and he is wonderful, but that's beside the point.) Therefore, I one hundred percent respect Joey's choice, and firmly tell him that whatever choice he makes is okay by me, as long as he is happy. If he changes his mine, that's okay. If not, that's okay, too.

Naturally, I almost fainted when Joey came home from school two weeks ago and announced that he had asked a girl to be his Valentine. A whole month ahead of time.

I was cleaning his lunchbox and Noah was bouncing off the walls as usual, when Joey stopped, leaned back into the kitchen and said, "Um, by the way, I wanted to tell you. I asked Wynona* to be my Valentine."

Trying not to squeal at the adorableness of it all, searching desperately for my nonexistent poker face, I said, "Oh? What did she say?"

His face was completely poker-ized as he replied, "She said yes. She asked me to please wait until the actual day to give her my present."

"Did you try to give her a present?" I asked, still trying to keep my voice level. 

"No," he said. "But I'm going to."

"Okay..." I said. I tried desperately to hold back the words, but no matter where I go, I'm still me. I blurted, "When did you decide to do this?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. She's the nicest girl in the whole class, so."

I swallowed, and smiled like he had just told me he'd merely had a good day at school. I did NOT want to freak him out, or make him think this had to be a huge scary deal.

"Sounds good," I said. "Thanks for telling me."

"Okay," he said, and left the room. 

This was when I did a silent squeal and run-in-place and waved my arms all over. CUTEST. KID. EVER!!

*Wynona's name isn't actually Wynona. I'm protecting her darling and adorable little identity.