“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”Gilda Radner

Friday, August 10, 2012

Top 10 Reasons To Start Running

My sister was once getting hit on by this guy. I won't say where or when, because I don't want to start a--you know--THING, but I do remember him asking her what she liked to do for fun. (Correct Answer: Read in Total Solitude) After a bit of chatting, he asked, "Do you run?" Jane and I must have had that Hair-Blown-Back-From-the-Wind look, because he instantly put both hands up in front of himself and said, "Whoa. I see I've said the 'R' word."

I'm not proud of the fact that I don't like exercising, or that running is the R-word, but, like my sister, I would pretty much always rather be lounging somewhere cozy reading a book. However, it occurred to me this morning that being a mom has prompted me to run more than anything else ever has. I don't mean this in a cute, "I'm chasing after two small children" way, I mean there are certain situations that will make me jump, or even fall, off my chair and go sprinting from point A to point B:

1. One child saying to another, "Want to electrocute something?" (It happened this morning, prompting this blog post.)

2. Hearing, at any point in time, the words, "So THAT'S where Mom hid our light sabre/sword/toy gun!"

3. Actually, hearing them saying, "So THAT'S where Mom hid our..." anything. If I've hidden it, it's for good reason.

4. Joey's choking sob. His other cries are too easily thrown around. (Also, a choking sob is different from a breath-holding sob.) Actually, I'll be a good mom here and saying ANY kind of choking will send me running.

5. Noah's long, loud wailing cry, with intermittent breath-holding. Unlike his brother, he rarely uses this one.

6. A THUD or the sound of shattering. Crashes and bangs are pretty normal, though.

7. The phrases, "Uh-oh" or, "Shhh! Mom is going to KILL us."

8. Maniacal giggling (this doesn't indicate danger, but something inappropriate nobody wants their kid doing).

9. A long, loud, "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew."

10. Any lasting, uninterrupted silences. Silence is possibly the greatest indicator of danger. If not for them, then for someone.

I guess I'm pretty lucky that, for now, exercising is just part of the Mommy Package, whether I like it or not.

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