Sometimes he smells funky.
Sometimes he is really, really crabby about work, but acts all indignant if you call him out on it.
Sometimes he interrupts the romantic part in a movie with a joke.
Sometimes he's too loud.
Sometimes he says the exact opposite of what any normal person knows is acceptable.
Sometimes he snores.
Sometimes he leaves dirty plates in the family room.
Sometimes he brags about what his SAT score was FIFTEEN years ago.
Sometimes he makes large, unnecessary messes in my kitchen.
Sometimes he hides his razor from me.
Sometimes he pretends he's going to use my toothbrush, just to freak me out.
Sometimes he makes me so mad I swear it makes me want to...want to pluck out all his nosehairs and eyebrows while he's sleeping. One by one. Because I think that would hurt a lot.
With all of that, I still feel better about everything in the world when he walks in.
Good night.
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