A Christmas Poem

#Boymom

‘Twas noontime on Christmas

when all through our house

not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse.

Joe propped up his ankle

And I snuggled up tight

I said to him, “How lovely

Our children are being so quiet.”

When down from below

There arose a loud pop

I tried to ignore it

But the screams would not stop.

Noah flew in my bedroom

And shouted with heart,

“Joey set off a fart bomb!

It smells like a FART!”

“WHAT!” shouted Joe,

and sprang up from our bed,

“They're outdoor only!”

he uselessly said.

The house became noxious,

And everyone yelled,

But there was nothing for it;

Everything smelled.

From below came more noise,

NOW what blew up?

Again Noah screamed.

“JOEY THREW UP!”

We raced down the stairs

We grabbed paper towels

The work had begun

I scrubbed for hours.

Wipe up the fart,

It has chunks, did you know?

GET IT OUT OF THE HOUSE!

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

But still the smell lingered

What could we do?

Get all the diffusers!

We’ll need more than two!

Oils of citrus,

we poured on the floor,

But we just couldn’t stop it.

It only smelled more!

Out came the bleaches

And chemicals, too,

The men went upstairs,

But I still had work to do.

I sprayed every floorboard,

Some of them stained.

I sprayed the upholstery,

The tree…candy canes!

On my hands and my knees

I crawled on the ground

I had to sniff out where

The fart still could be found.

My house now smells like citrus

With a light trace of mint

But I cannot deny

A lingering scent.

People, when shopping,

Please do consider

The gifts that you buy,

Is something else better?

A house with three boys

Should not have fart bombs,

They make their own, thank you,

And…remember the moms!

We love our boys,

Every stink, every puke,

But once in awhile,

We need a rest, too!

Merry Christmas!