“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”Gilda Radner

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Nobody Told Me

When you have a baby, the first thing people like to ask is, "Is he a good baby?"

I have no idea what to make of that, and it's probably because I don't think I've ever had a "good" or "bad" baby. My babies cry a lot and they poop a lot. Joey was colicky and had some wild reflux, while Noah never slept. And Max seems to be somewhere in the middle right now--who knows how that will turn out?

The other question people have been asking this time around is how everyone is adjusting. That's more valid, and as I love to talk about my family, I have a much easier time answering this one. Basically, our world has been turned upside-down. I knew it was coming. It's sort of like watching a storm blow in. You see it out there on the horizon, and you think, "Wow, it's so beautiful. It's awesome," but that isn't necessarily what you're thinking when you're right there in it. 

The other day, Max was having a much-needed snooze in his swing. The boys were watching TV and Joe and I were in the next room. The whole thing was this freak moment of serenity and all I wanted was to have it last a little longer.

That's when I heard Noah.

The sounds coming from the next room could only be Noah, unless there was a rabid jaguar loose in my house. Sounds of  "RAWR! RAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRR! SNAP! SNAP! I'LL EAT YOU UP! RAWRRR!" reverberated through the house. 

It was one of those moments where you think, "Nah," but your heart is already racing.

"You don't think he's...bothering the baby, do you, Joe?" I asked, my voice carefully controlled.

Joe didn't look up. "I can't say I don't think that."

I stepped around the corner and found Noah shaking THIS Halloween mask:

and making scary noises at a sleeping Max. 

"NO!" I cried. I ignored the fact that Max was snoozing right on through this ridiculous display and zeroed in on the real problem. "We NEVER EVER bother a sleeping baby! And you should NEVER growl and shake scary masks at them!!!"

Noah turned around. Slowly, calmly--like I'd just asked him to consider the meaning of life or the history of time. His face morphed into something of annoyance and then he glared at me.

He said, "Well, sorry, but nobody told me not to."

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